A lot happened to me personally following that landmark
surgery. For the first time in ages I did normal bowel movements, going only
once or twice a day, not needing to worry about toilet dashes and fully
emptying my bowel in one or two movements only was just amazing. I felt free
from toilets, episodes of urgency, using rolls and rolls of toilet roll and
feeling dirty and shamed. I felt confident and happy.
About 10 weeks after surgery I
managed to get a flat transfer – having waited 5 years to move and having
missed out on a flat in December because of having surgery, I found the flat of
my dreams and moved in March 2016. I then took out a new full-time clinic room
for my work one month later in April. These were big life events, but I coped
well despite a reactive depressive episode following the new work move. I was
otherwise feeling happier about things and made plans – for example to go to a
writers retreat in France in June. I felt that a break was important after all
that I had been through. It was whilst I was in France that my bowels started
to deteriorate again.
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